hes going back out wiht his girlfriend..i dont even give a shit ne more i hate him and i hate her i hope they live happily ever after...as for me i hope i find my prince charming

so muc hshit is going wrong i jus wanna die..hope all of you are doing good

love you

im back from florida had the best time of my life!

i went to a party last night  was having the greatest time, was high as hell drunk as fuck..nothing else could go wrong..untill while i was hitting the bong i looked up to blow the smoke out and i saw matt ( my ex ) and i was litterally tweakin inside my head. so everything ended up to be kool and this guy andrew was like ALL over me all night and he like kissing my neck and matt was sitting across the room looking like he was gonna cry but ya know i didnt even care cause he has hurted me so fucking much  that i jus dont give a damn if i hurt his feelings.. okay well thats a lie because after i saw the look on his face i wanted to push andrew off of me and confess my love for matt, i wanted to scream it to everyone in the damn room i wanted to make love to him right there on the basement floor and jus show everybody how much i love and adore him but han smack him and beat him up after to show how much he hurt me lol im so weird..

but more into the party he like wouldnt stop talking to me and wouldnt leave me alone and he told me to come into the other room wiht him and he were sitting in the dark and the only light was a candle so it was kinda romantic in a weird ass way ..but he was like asking me why i was trying to hurt him doing that infront of him wiht andrew and i was like dude u have a giflriend i dont kno what ur talking about im not trying to hurt you u said we were just friends so im treating u like ur just one of my friends and he was like well for 1 im not with colleen ne more i broke up wiht her and i was like oh? i felt so dumb lol but than he brushed my hair outta my face and was like you know u still love me and i was like no i dont i honestly dont and he was like i know you do becuase im still inlove with you, i always have been i just wanted to date other ppl and i just realized that your the only girl i wanna be with. and i was like ur acting like everything u did was okay , u didnt even tell me you were gonan leave me for saomeone else and u did! and we both like started to get teary eyed and he was like do you ever think about marrying me and i was like yeah sometimes why and he was like i think about it all the time

i duno just everything he was saying was perfect and he called me 5 times today , called me twice last night first one was to see if i made it home okay and the second time was to just talk before he went to bed..  i dunno what happend but he jus started being reallly sweet to me all of a sudden but its probably not gonna last hes gonna always be an asshole. during this week hes probably gonna like hook up wiht someone or get bac kcolleen and just fuck me over again. its like when hes nice he trys to get information out of me just so he knows how to hurt me harder than before..

ugh i dunno. i hate being inlove wiht him cause its the most up and down rollercoaster feeling ever!!!

i hate myself

im ugly

&

fat!!!!!!!!!!

im having a horrible day. i jus wanna scream my lungs out till they exploid till i have no voice left inside me. i hate him so much i dont care if we ahvent been together for months and that hes been wiht another bitch. i still found out that he cheated on me whne we were together. he made me believe he was inlove with me i wasted a fucking year and 4 months of my life wiht him!!!!! i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!! he came up to me today and like got in my face and tried to be nice and talk to me i gave him a bitch look and shuved him away and told me to leave me aloneand h was like why are u being bitch wtf did i do and i was like everything. u did eVERYTHING ..i want him to fucking jump into my body and see how much he hurt me. i hate him wiht every passion left in my body.

pluse im fucking fat and ugly and i hate myself. i have a friend cami and shes really pretty and everytime im with her i feel so fucking ugly i hate it! i wish i could seriously jus look at my self in teh mirror and see beatiful. why is everything falling apart why does this haave to happen to me. why did he have to do that to me? why did i have to fall inlove why do i still have feelings for him! no I DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. i hate my self i hate everything about my life.

im tweaking out i jus need to smoke weed right fucking now.

...

wad up ladies haha..so how was ur guy's st patricks day lol mine was good as hell. got so fucked up  ..i think i gave some guy my number last night, he was realy fukin fine too..i hope he calls cept thats gonna be a lil awkard hmmmmmmm o well lol he probably wont call. but anways i jus got done smoking a bowl. i love waking and baking makes me jus wanna chill the rest of the day. im getting my eye brows done today im a lil nervous im gettin them threaded i heard its better than getting it waxed. well actualy if u want your eye brows thick still than get it threaded but if u like whne there really thin than get it waxed. so yeah im gettin it threaded

im still fucked with teh whole spring break thing. im not gonna lose alot of weight before than so i duno what im gonna do . i found adderal though but its gonna take like a cuople days to get it caus thes gotta get a new full bottle of it lol kidna funny how im taking this kids medication hahah but odnt worry im not gonna get addicted to it like last time i jus need like 4 to give me al il boost to start a fast cause it seriously doesnt make u hungry and once uv taken a lot of em ur apitite without them is still gone so i only need like k4 oor maybe 5 lol.